Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
