am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
