so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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