I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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