ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
