her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
