3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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