Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
40s are totally the cure
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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