Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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