a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
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