she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
