How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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