Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.