ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
