so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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