Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
