Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
