After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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