i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
