I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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