Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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