her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
