still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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