I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
