Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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