omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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