I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
