I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this just has baby written all over it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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