We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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