Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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