Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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