maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
