he told me I talked like a deaf person
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
