Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
