we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
