I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
