You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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