the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
