did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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