You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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