My friends, they love my intelligence
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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