have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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