Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
