I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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