I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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