4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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