you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
