She said her name was "party"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
