He is such a slut. More and more my type.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
