i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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