I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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