Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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