I'm sorry my penis didn't work
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
