tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
