i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
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