If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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