just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
