I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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