Already got asked if we're dating
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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