So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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