Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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