Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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